Process Toward Progress
This has become my mantra in life. I have taken necessary steps to educate myself academically and professionally, but I knew I needed to improve myself personally. My friends would describe me as a good person with a hard exterior. I believed I had good reason to be this way. I was once the person who was too kind and forgiving to everyone and my kindness was taken for weakness. Over time I began to look at life through tainted lenses. I take no mess, I am impatient, and rarely believe in second chances. I'd fly off the handle and give you a piece of my mind with no regard of your feelings, or situation-- very apathetic.
A conversation with someone who was a "friend" at the time sort of made my oblivious music of life come to a screeching halt. I was called "mean and rude." After my initial shock, tears, and emotions subsided, I began to look deeply in the proverbial mirror.
Things I realized upon completing my reflection:
-I'm overtly analytical
-I'm very apathetic
-I'm culturally stunted
-Impatient
-Hot tempered
-Sometimes irrational!
-Demanding
Now that I've admitted my faults. I need to dig into the uncomfortable space, you know, the one that makes you want to look away, or even slam the door shut and run away, but not before dead bolting it closed, and putting a grand piano with a 5 ton boulder on top in front of the door? Yea, that space. My major reasons for these ill characteristics are fear, and insecurity. I won't go ALL Dr. Phil, or Dr. Jeff on you with why. But I'm proud to say I'm on my process toward progress!
I've seen the changes in me. I'm not into keeping up mess, I've cut out a lot of the "ratchet" TV. I take my time before I give my SOLICITED opinion on situations, and factor in the person's feelings. I am naturally a blunt person. It is hard to find the nice way to say things when you're not used to doing so. Sometimes I just give my disclaimer, "I mean this in the nicest way possible..."
Recently I found myself sliding back into old ways, keeping up gossip, and adding my two cents. I was going so far as to send others on "missions" to find out more on someone who is no longer in my life. I had to bring that screeching halt back and remind myself, it's none of business. It doesn't affect me, so leave it be. Process toward progress!
This new journey is not just a physical and financial, one but a cultural and spiritual one! Ride with me people!
A conversation with someone who was a "friend" at the time sort of made my oblivious music of life come to a screeching halt. I was called "mean and rude." After my initial shock, tears, and emotions subsided, I began to look deeply in the proverbial mirror.
Things I realized upon completing my reflection:
-I'm overtly analytical
-I'm very apathetic
-I'm culturally stunted
-Impatient
-Hot tempered
-Sometimes irrational!
-Demanding
Now that I've admitted my faults. I need to dig into the uncomfortable space, you know, the one that makes you want to look away, or even slam the door shut and run away, but not before dead bolting it closed, and putting a grand piano with a 5 ton boulder on top in front of the door? Yea, that space. My major reasons for these ill characteristics are fear, and insecurity. I won't go ALL Dr. Phil, or Dr. Jeff on you with why. But I'm proud to say I'm on my process toward progress!
I've seen the changes in me. I'm not into keeping up mess, I've cut out a lot of the "ratchet" TV. I take my time before I give my SOLICITED opinion on situations, and factor in the person's feelings. I am naturally a blunt person. It is hard to find the nice way to say things when you're not used to doing so. Sometimes I just give my disclaimer, "I mean this in the nicest way possible..."
Recently I found myself sliding back into old ways, keeping up gossip, and adding my two cents. I was going so far as to send others on "missions" to find out more on someone who is no longer in my life. I had to bring that screeching halt back and remind myself, it's none of business. It doesn't affect me, so leave it be. Process toward progress!
This new journey is not just a physical and financial, one but a cultural and spiritual one! Ride with me people!
Comments
Post a Comment